If these days your professional life doesn't feel like an episode of Wacky Races, you may either be desensitized to the working life's absurdities or may actually enjoy your job in a nice productive place. Either way, congrats!
In case you've never heard of Wacky Races, this is an animated series created and directed by power duo William Hanna and Joseph Barbera in 1968, where 11 uniquely designed car races — populated by 23 people and animals — are competing in a series of vaguely regulated races across North America to win the dubious title of World's Wackiest Racer. It sounds like a complete work of fiction that should in no way bear any resemblance to a real-life workplace — or at least that's what the disclaimer might say — but is it really the case? Let's have a closer look at these racers and see exactly how similar they are to office life personas.
Wacky Races is how your organization would look like if there wouldn't be an HR department: people trying to move ahead by pulling nasty tricks on each other, incorrigible dirty cheaters and immature tantrum displays. What's that — your organization does have an HR department and this still sounds familiar? Hmm...
"And they're off... to a standing start..."
1. The Slag Brothers, racing in the Bouldermobile
"Raga-radda, wheel gone. Get new one!"
The Slag Brothers — Rock Slag and Gravel Slag — are the stereotypical developers. These two are infinitely resourceful, being able to create spare parts (such a wheels) or even the entire Bouldermobile by bashing it back into shape with their clubs. On the downside, they hardly ever interact with others, due partly to their self-sufficiency and partly to their insiders-only jokes and communication style (see featured quote), while releasing their frustration on each other in acts which would be considered as excessive outside the IT department.
2. The Gruesome Twosome, in the Creepy Coupe
"- Most certainly!
- Yes, indeed!"
The monsters driving this hearse-like vehicle with a dragon, bats, ghosts and other various spooky, horrific characters are actually the most kind and humane characters in the race. Despite its scary appearance, the Creepy Coupe is among the most likely to stop and help fellow racers if they run into difficulty and will rarely resort to cheating or attacking other cars. These are the office folks you can depend on and a reminder that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
3. Professor Pat Pending, in the Convert-a-Car
"Time to spring into action!"
Prof. Pat(ent) Pending is your friendly Research&Development person, quietly being the hero by ensuring market relevancy for the years to come. He's the most agile racer, being a wagon/plane/boat-shaped car equipped with a multitude of gadgets and which can change into just about anything that moves: a motorcycle, a jetpack, a flying carpet on wheels, a forklift, an arrow, a bicycle built for two, a bowling ball, a basketball, a blimp, a rocket. If only the entire organization would morph that quickly and diversely.
4. Red Max, in the Crimson Haybaler
- no meaningful quote -
Red Max is rather superfluous as a character and basically all he does is use the Crimson Haybaler's ability to fly over short distances to leapfrog racers. He's unremarkable, but efficient.
5. Penelope Pitstop, in the Compact Pussycat
"Hay-elp!"
Being the only woman participant in a man-driven gender-imbalanced race, you would be quick to dismiss Penelope Pitstop as a serious contender. She appears as an ingenue easy prey, lacking any course-advancing gadgets or skills. However, she turns this into an advantage, as racers almost never target her and often offer their help, for which Penelope is always thankful. The glamor gal of the gas pedal is also pretty assertive, oftentimes figuring out how to get out of her situations almost as many times as she gets caught.
6. Sergeant Blast and Private Meekley, in the Army Surplus Special
"-Oh, shoot...
- Shoot?"
Private Meekley is in charge of driving the tank/jeep/steamroller hybrid while Sergeant Blast shouts orders. As their names suggest, Private Meekley is very meek and merely follows orders without question, while Sergeant Blast "blasts" orders with his stereotypical army-commander voice. If you think discipline leads to efficiency, you should know Meekley's bad habit of taking things literally and the wrong way (see quote) prevents the duo several times from crossing the finish line first.
7. The Anthill Mob in The Bulletproof Bomb (or the Roaring Plenty)
"Alright, you guys, everybody out and push!"
The Anthill Mob is what happens when you hire cheap workforce. Even though they have a third of the size of a regular employee, you end up with more headcount than they're worth. Their advancing power-up is low-tech — extending their legs through the bottom of the car and running. The six dwarf-like characters never take initiative and will always require a team leader in order to take action. Watch out — directions will need to be straightforward or will be easily misunderstood.
8. Lazy Luke and Blubber Bear, in the Arkansas Chug-a-Bug
"Hold on to yer hat, Blubber!"
You wonder how these two got through the strict requirement list, IQ tests and long series of interviews you were subjected to before joining. They are a remnant of the old days and have not changed since, despite the large number of mandatory training sessions they have attended. They mourn faxes, letters and will always require you to be on-site for any type of discussion. One is blissfully carefree and the other is paranoid beyond measure. Regardless, their job security is always at sky-high levels, despite their low performance and outdated skills.
9. Peter Perfect, in the Turbo Terrific
"Work harder, everybody!"
Peter Perfect is the stereotypical senior manager: male, white, tall, gentlemanly. Yes, this completes the list of prerequisites necessary for the role. Peter is very strong, but also very vain (just look at that car — come on). Just like most execs, he often boasts about how well his high-tech vehicle performs and just as often, it immediately falls into pieces. Turbo Terrific? More like Turbo Terrible. It may be the most expensive and at the same time least reliable car in Wacky Races, a gap bridged only by Peter's charisma. I hope the investors are happy.
10. Rufus Ruffcut and Sawtooth, in the Buzzwagon
"Timber!"
These two don't mess arround. What they lack in tact and diplomacy they make up in swift action and brute force. They make things happen. Like a functional car made out of wood — that shouldn't even work! Their saw blade wheels may not pass through vehicle standards inspection, but they cut through everything else.
00. Dick Dastardly, in the Mean Machine
"Drat! And Double Drat!"
Dick Dastardly may be a villain, but there're more to him that meets the eye. While all participants are onto nasty tricks to get ahead, Dastardly is the only one with the vision, ambition and drive to set up traps for all of his competitors. While the complexity of his deterring plans is admirable, they always contain an obvious flaw — like putting too much trust in his canine subordinate Muttley. Despite the fact that his 00-mobile is the most powerful and technologically advanced vehicle in Wacky Races, allowing its driver to easily win all races if he would just drive to the finish line, his efforts are blindly misplaced into making others fail.
00-2. The Magnificent Muttley
"Sassafrassarassum Rick Rastardly!"
Muttley is a fan favorite of the series because he is so relatable. His story is one of ups and downs. The Muttley persona joined the company with a dream, highly motivated and faithful to a fault. However, along the way, he started snickering behind his boss, slacking off and being let down by the company culture. He ends up being complacent about his textbook sociopath manager Dick Dastardly and encourages his behavior by not speaking out against it.
There you have it — the 11 (plus one canine extra) Wacky Racers. Do you think that these workplace stereotypes are representative for your organization and do you recognize yourself and your colleagues in these characters? Let us know in the comments.